Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
