if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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