in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
