I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
