All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
