i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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