My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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