He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
