Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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