and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
