I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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