That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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