I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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