i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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