wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
