I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
