Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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