hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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