just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
