Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
