so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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