You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize