i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
