I just threw up on my dentist
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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