I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
