I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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