And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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