just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
