I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
