Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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