Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
