Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I just sharted jello shots
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
