At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
