Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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