Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
