Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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