I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
