Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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