so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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