Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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