I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
