I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
