If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
