she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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