Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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