I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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