i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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