I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
