the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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