my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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