we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
