i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I won the penis lottery.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
