I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was like eating out sand paper
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize