Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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