last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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