Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
