I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize