I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
