If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
