I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
