his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
