hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
