it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
