I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
